Thursday, February 16, 2006


Right Wing Humor, It's funny when people die.

I have to admit, I’ve never understood Right Wing Humor. I just didn’t get it and I often don’t find it funny.

For example, the Running Joke among conservatives this week is that they would rather go hunting with Dick Cheney, than ride in a car with Ted Kennedy.

I have to admit, I didn’t think it was funny. You see, the joke is a reference to a car accident in which a woman in the car with Ted Kennedy died. And the more I thought about it the more I realized the Republicans think death is funny. It’s funny when people die. There’s the joke.

Once I realized this simple truth it became much easier to understand Republican Humor. For example when Ann Coulter said of Arab Nations, “We should invade their countries, kill their leaders and convert them to Christianity”, I finally understood the joke. You see, killing people is funny. It’s funny when people die.

Coulter also said “We need somebody to put rat poisoning in Justice Stevens' crème brulée." She followed the statement by saying, "That's just a joke, for you in the media." See, it’s just a joke. Funny. I get it now. It’s funny when people die.

And after I figured that out it was so much funnier to listen to new CNN host Glenn Beck when he said, “I’m thinking about killing Michael Moore.” You see that is comedy folks. It’s not that the guy telling the jokes isn’t funny, it’s that you just don’t “get it.” You see, in a Republican World, It’s funny when people die.

So armed with my new found understanding of what Republicans consider funny, I’ve decided to try my hand at writing jokes like them. Here we go:

I’d rather go hunting with Dick Cheney, than ride in a car with Laura Bush. You see why it’s funny? Laura Bush killed a guy in a car accident when she was 17. It’s funny when people die.

I’d rather go hunting with Dick Cheney, than be an intern for Joe Scarborough. Joe’s intern died mysteriously in his office in 2001. It’s funny when people die.

I’d rather go hunting with Dick Cheney, than be a U.S. soldier in Iraq. Ha, Ha, Ha. It's funny because 2,200+ soldiers have died in Iraq. Now there’s Republican Humor on a grand scale. It's funny when people die.

I’d rather go hunting with Dick Cheney, than be a coal miner during the Bush Administration. You see why it’s funny? It’s funny because Bush cut enforcement of mine safety regulations and appointed people to investigate violations who think corporate profits are more important than mine safety. And coal miners died. You see, it’s funny when people die.

I’d rather go hunting with Dick Cheney, than be a poor person in New Orleans during a Hurricane with George Bush as President. Again, with Bush appointing political hacks to important government positions instead of competent people with experience, people died. Again, it’s funny when people die.

You see, armed with my new found understanding of Right Wing Humor, I can now laugh it off when Ann Coulter says, “When contemplating college liberals, you really regret once again that John Walker is not getting the death penalty,” Coulter said in an address to the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC). “We need to execute people like John Walker in order to physically intimidate liberals, by making them realize that they can be killed too. Otherwise they will turn out to be outright traitors.” You see, it’s funny when people die.

well said. though, for the record, i do not think it's funny when people die. ;-) - a
I still cannot understand why a woman would EVER choose to be a republican. And for those of you wondering why, read the Liberal Manifesto on this site, and examine what it is that makes YOU a conservative. Can you REALLY, without flinching, tell me that you are the "MORAL" party. If so, then you'll have to provide me with evidence that none of the reasons why you DO consider your party to be the moral party, have to do with pressing the agenda of your church's newsletter onto the other people in this country, because there is a reason we have separation of church and state people. There are many "GODS" in this nation, what makes you think yours has it right? And to my lovely libereals: stop shrugging your shoulders and/or passiveley replying to challenges to liberalism, raise your voices people, the democrats in this country need to hear them so they can climb out of their hiding spots and stop taking the safer, "moderate" tone we keep hearing, and the republicans need to hear you because if they dont (and unfortunately, unless you scream loud enough, they'll ignore you even if you do) they will apparently assume that they have a "mandate" to do whatever they please to YOUR country. Get off your lazy arses, get loud, get liberal, get ACTIVE!
Does a comment get us anywhere with this Bush corruptness, these bastards would ignore if shit was to hit them in the face. I've had it the jokes, some body needs to take action , I can't I fought a war and now I can barely make it day to day.
It use to be BUSH and QUAYLE

Now it's BUSH and QUAIL
It's funny when people die, for some definitions of "people."

According to the Talebangelicals, the moment a human sperm fertilizes a human egg, the result is a person. And killing that "person" is very, very wrong. Not a laughing matter at all. That's why they blow up abortion clinics (that's funny, because people die).

One the foetus has been born, then it is funny if it dies. That's why Bush is cutting down on aid to the poverty-stricken, so that more newly-born children will die. That's why Bush is cutting child health insurance, so that more children will die.

That's the Bush administration for you - always finding ways to make us laugh...
Well said, brother.

A Liberal Dose
fantastic post. inspired.

Speaking of Coulter, she's been quoted as saying she can do anything she wants because she's blonde and female. Anyone have any idea whether that's NATURAL blonde?
Those Republicans are the folks who thought Kerry's wounds were funny.
How about that Republican who suggested stoning Henry Hyde to death? Wait a minute, that was Alec Baldwin. Did Democrats find that funny?
This is an excellent post. There's an additional aspect of "republican humor" that I find particularly alarming and disgusting. It's the issuence of death threats, e.g. "That man/woman should be killed. Ha ha ha." as one often hears from Ann Coulter and others. But when they are confronted they claim "Oh, it's satire, I didn't mean it literally." Though it seems obvious that these types of statement are designed to create a climate of fear and intimidation in which is hoped that some crazed vigilante may actually carry out the order.

I am translating works by the Weimar Republic German author and critic of National Socialism Kurt Tucholsky. He has a classic piece defining what satire is allowed to do. Before I read it completely, I hesitated to translate this because his answer was "everything" and I did not want his message used in the abovementioned context.

But an exact reading of the piece shows that this is not what he is saying at all. He first goes on to lay out what satire isn't.
1) Satire does not support the status quo: ("A satire that calls for an increase in the war debt, is none.")
2) It is not satire if produced by opportunists with a hidden agenda ("Nowhere do those lacking character betray themselves quicker than here, nowhere does he show himself swifter, that tomfool without a conscience, one who attacks this today and that tomorrow.")

"fights for the sake of good"
"the right of an honest man to take the whip to his time"
"wants the world to be good"
"inflates the truth to make it clearer"

It's hard to vieled death threats and jokes about people having died fall under the above description. What you've descrbed is not humor and it is definitely not satire.
I am 80 years old, and despite having lived in all sections of this country, have yet to meet a Republian with a real sense of humor. They think telling jokes, (especially mean-spirited or dirty ones)are funny, and seldom "get" intelligent satire or subtle humor. A real sense of humor requires the ability to laugh at oneself and the foibles of all us humans. Thank God most of us liberals do have a sense of humor, because nowadays one has to keep laughing in order to keep from crying our hearts out or having a stroke.
They say "it's a joke" but there is truth in every joke.

These are what some call "eliminationist" fantasies. These people are fascists who want to kill liberals. Period. They are pathological - and they vote in large numbers.

I say time to reconsider the nonviolence pledge. Somebody jokes to me about killing liberals and they will find out just how FUCKING funny it is.
Granny - yes, the ability to laugh at the foibles of all us humans would require Republicans to consider people who are different from them as "humans".

Unfortunately, they apparently do not.

Anonymous above - go rent "Gandhi" - Today.
Do Democrats find the so-called humor of Aaron McGruder and Ted Rall to be either "intelligent satire or subtle"? I doubt the widows of the victims of 9/11 do.
"Widows of victims of 9/11"????????

Spoken like a true Republican. So only men died that day? Oh, i your perfect Repub Leave-it-to-Beaver world only men were working that day.

You don't like Ted Rall? Why don't you and your buddies protest his cartoons in the streets and burn down the newspapers that print them? You guys are as bad as those jokers and the Danish cartoons!
I've never even heard of Aaron McGruder or Ted Rall. The people I quoted are MAJOR figures in the Republican Party. Ann Coulter was a FEATURED speaker at Conservative Political Action Conference less than two weeks ago. The other right winger I mentioned, Glenn Beck has just been hired by CNN to do a NEWS show.

Nice try though anonymous.
If you still don't believe me, just google kill liberals and then google kill conservatives. You will see how acceptable it is in right wing circles to make jokes about killing your political enemies.
Let us all remember the thinly veiled threat Sen. Jesse Helms made towards President Clinton in 1994.

From Wikipedia:

In 1994, Helms created a sensation when he told broadcasters the late Rowland Evans, Jr., and Robert Novak that President Bill Clinton was "not up" to the tasks of being commander-in-chief and suggested that Clinton had "better not show up around here [Fort Bragg] without a bodyguard", on the anniversary of John F. Kennedy's assassination.

Uttering a threat against the President of the United States is a felony under 18 U.S.C. 871(a):

(a) Whoever knowingly and willfully deposits for conveyance in the mail or for a delivery from any post office or by any letter carrier any letter, paper, writing, print, missive, or document containing any threat to take the life of, to kidnap, or to inflict bodily harm upon the President of the United States, the President-elect, the Vice President or other officer next in the order of succession to the office of President of the United States, or the Vice President-elect, or knowingly and willfully otherwise makes any such threat against the President, President-elect, Vice President or other officer next in the order of succession to the office of President, or Vice President-elect, shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than five years, or both.

Sadly, nobody had the balls to file charges.

Shucks, he's just a good ole boy.

--Miss P.
One the foetus has been born, then it is funny if it dies. That's why Bush is cutting down on aid to the poverty-stricken and very nice....

fantastic post.........


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