Thursday, February 15, 2007
The Half-Hour News Hour on Fox
In case you don't find it funny, here is a reminder of how to appreciate right-wing humor from The Punisher's 2006 post here at the Ob Report.
Right Wing Humor, It's funny when people die.I have to admit, I’ve never understood Right Wing Humor. I just didn’t get it and I often don’t find it funny.
For example, the Running Joke among conservatives this week is that they would rather go hunting with Dick Cheney, than ride in a car with Ted Kennedy.
I have to admit, I didn’t think it was funny. You see, the joke is a reference to a car accident in which a woman in the car with Ted Kennedy died. And the more I thought about it the more I realized the Republicans think death is funny. It’s funny when people die. There’s the joke.
Once I realized this simple truth it became much easier to understand Republican Humor. For example when Ann Coulter said of Arab Nations, “We should invade their countries, kill their leaders and convert them to Christianity”, I finally understood the joke. You see, killing people is funny. It’s funny when people die.
Coulter also said “We need somebody to put rat poisoning in Justice Stevens' crème brulée." She followed the statement by saying, "That's just a joke, for you in the media." See, it’s just a joke. Funny. I get it now. It’s funny when people die.
And after I figured that out it was so much funnier to listen to new CNN host Glenn Beck when he said, “I’m thinking about killing Michael Moore.” You see that is comedy folks. It’s not that the guy telling the jokes isn’t funny, it’s that you just don’t “get it.” You see, in a Republican World, It’s funny when people die.
So armed with my new found understanding of what Republicans consider funny, I’ve decided to try my hand at writing jokes like them. Here we go:
I’d rather go hunting with Dick Cheney, than ride in a car with Laura Bush. You see why it’s funny? Laura Bush killed a guy in a car accident when she was 17. It’s funny when people die.
I’d rather go hunting with Dick Cheney, than be an intern for Joe Scarborough. Joe’s intern died mysteriously in his office in 2001. It’s funny when people die.
I’d rather go hunting with Dick Cheney, than be a U.S. soldier in Iraq. Ha, Ha, Ha. It's funny because 3000+ soldiers have died in Iraq. Now there’s Republican Humor on a grand scale. It's funny when people die.
I’d rather go hunting with Dick Cheney, than be a coal miner during the Bush Administration. You see why it’s funny? It’s funny because Bush cut enforcement of mine safety regulations and appointed people to investigate violations who think corporate profits are more important than mine safety. And coal miners died. You see, it’s funny when people die.
I’d rather go hunting with Dick Cheney, than be a poor person in New Orleans during a Hurricane with George Bush as President. Again, with Bush appointing political hacks to important government positions instead of competent people with experience, people died. Again, it’s funny when people die.
You see, armed with my new found understanding of Right Wing Humor, I can now laugh it off when Ann Coulter says, “When contemplating college liberals, you really regret once again that John Walker is not getting the death penalty,” Coulter said in an address to the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC). “We need to execute people like John Walker in order to physically intimidate liberals, by making them realize that they can be killed too. Otherwise they will turn out to be outright traitors.” You see, it’s funny when people die.
As for your comment, the only point I see is to pimp for that piece of shit website, so I'm going to delete it soon. After I've left my comment up mocking you for a sufficient amount of time.
See... I have a point to my comment. The point is to make you look like a hack who's pimping for a right wing website.
Which in my book, makes you a douchebag.
Hugs and Kisses,
I admit, I haven't seen more than the clip, which admittedly used the laugh track at least as often as the sitcom "Yes Dear." You have to admit, liberals have had the corner of the market on satirical news programming, with "The Daily Show," "The Colbert Report," and even Saturday Night Live's "Weekend Update." So, there is a market niche for a conservative satire. I'm just not sure this is it.
As for it being unfunny, give it time. And give it a chance. Just think back to when all the liberals were whining because they had no liberal talk radio to counter all the Limbaughs, Savages, Hannity's, etc... Actually, that's still the case, isn't it? With Franken running for Senate, and Air America going bankrupt, it seems there's not a real market for liberal thinkers in talk radio. So, perhaps there's not a market for conservative comedians on television.
Come to think of it, I'd rather be an intelligent conservative than a funny liberal. Given the choice between a brain and a sense of humor, I'll choose the brain every time. If you had one, well, you probably wouldn't be a liberal.
Actually, intelligence is the most important factor in having a sense of humor.
Take irony for instance. Conservatives always fail to see the irony of being against abortion and for capital punishment.
Thanks for your input. You are not funny or intelligent.
As for intelligence in humor, yes, it is necessary for irony and satire. But the level of humor in "The Daily Show" and its ilk never rises above the mental level of a fart joke. Not that there's anything wrong with base humor... I just prefer if people didn't use it to foment political unrest and to sway public opinion.
As for my sense of humor and intelligence, I appreciate your attempt to judge me based off of one blog comment. This shows your true insight into human nature, and displays your prowess in observation. Surely, through reading a mere four paragraph commentary you can surmise the entire nature of my being, and have deduced that I am in fact a humorless vegetable. Probably a cucumber.
Stay classy, Uncle Salty.
So you think abortion is murder, huh? So you would be for imprisoning women who have abortions for murder I take it....
Real intelligence sees the world as a complex place where things are far often less black or white than most conservatives would like to admit.
As far as class goes, I have enough to be finished commenting on you and your idiotic observations.
Stay a douche, Cameron.
Thanks for pointing that out Cammy. I mean I always thought that the jokes were people like Rush Limbaugh who advocates prison for drug addicts, until he becomes one. Or Anne Coulter who thinks that killing a supreme court justice makes a good joke. Or Glenn Beck who thinks that every Muslim is a terrorist but insists he's not a racist.
But you're right, I mean look at all the things conservative brains have figured out... like invading Iraq to stop those terrorists. Or running up huge budget deficits by cutting taxes. Or by advocating killing abortion doctors. Or by outlawing burning the flag to prove how free we are. Oh, and that "intelligent design" stuff... that's fucking brilliant.
The nice thing about being a conservative is that you can have a limited intellect and feel superior because you've got people like Rush and Hannity and Coulter telling you what to think. Now they'll be telling you what's funny.
If you don't know where the jokes are, Anne and Rush will be sure to include a "that's a joke folks" when they say something particularly revolting so that you'll know when to laugh.
So thanks for "pointing out" all those liberal double standards for us Cammy.
Oh, and the reason liberal radio doesn't succeed, is because most of us prefer to read to get our information, unlike your average conservative.
So Cammy, Mr. White Man in his 50's with the college degree and the wife and 2.5 kids, go back to listening to your entertainment programming by Rush Limbaugh. It will make you feel safe and you won't have to venture outside your pathetic little box and see the world through anyone else's eyes.
Hugs and Kisses,
1) I don't listen to Limbaugh.
2) I have never read anything by Coulter.
3) I'm a 25 year old single white male television producer. Doesn't that just shatter your whole perception of the entertainment industry?
Here's food for thought. How often do you research the opposing view, beyond what you see in the media, or what you read in the papers? Do you really talk to conservatives, or even know any? I'm almost certain you don't, given your all too hospitable welcome to this reader. I make it a point to try to understand both sides of an issue before I form an opinion. Of course, I'm a rarity today, in that I actually think for myself, rather than repeating whatever pundits (from either side of the fence) tell me to believe. And, when I discover I am in fact wrong about something, I admit it, rather than trying to drown out the opposing view with epithets, and insults better suited for an elementary school playground. You two should try it yourself.
To think, I'm the one being accused of hate here... while you two are positively dripping with it. I'll leave you two to continue getting the only exercise you probably get - by jumping to more conclusions. Our nation will never see anything resembling bi-partisanship so long as people like you are incapable of even participating in a rational discourse with people who - heaven forbid - disagree with you.
You want rational discourse? Then answer my question above....
Do you think a woman who has an abortion is a murderer and should be treated as such?
You write "Given the choice between a brain and a sense of humor, I'll choose the brain every time." And you expece some kind of bipartisan welcome?
You write "If you had one (a brain), well, you probably wouldn't be a liberal.", and you expect us to welcome your pithy insights with anything but sarcasm?
You're fucking dumber than I thought. Just because you can put together a coherent sentence, doesn't make you a fucking thinker, you idiot.
Go fuck yourself. You haven't contributed a thing to this particular subject other than to try to make yourself look good.
Good luck with the television career, I'm sure you'll be coming up with the next "I love New York" or some other mindless drivel, soon.
Hugs and Kisses,
Ohhh... let's see... if you don't know me, and know nothing about me.. how would you know I don't exercise... mmmm... wait... by jumping to conclusions. Nice job there Socrates. I believe there's a comment about a pot calling the kettle black... or something.
I'm sooo glad an independent thinker like you stopped by our "diatribe" of a blog.
Again, thanks for reading, you're our demographic.
Here's some examples of how conservative your thought process is and how it's obviously been shaped by the right wing echo chamber.
"Just think back to when all the liberals were whining..." is exactly the kind of thing Hannity, Rush, Beck, Tucker, and their ilk say about liberals all the time. Google "whiney" and "liberal" and "quote" and see how many times that crap is said by the right wing. And you repeat it as if it's a fact and didn't seep into your consciousness through constant repetition by the right wing echo chamber.
Here's more: "Not that there's anything wrong with base humor... I just prefer if people didn't use it to foment political unrest and to sway public opinion." Satire being used to "foment" political unrest? Can you get any more right wing than that? An open dialogue and the ability to satirize those in power are essential to a democracy. Trying to stifle criticism of the government is simply facism. How many times have liberals been accused by the right of being traitors and supporters of terrorists by the right wingers you claim don't influence your opinion? Your comment clearly shows your bias. But you believe yourself to be an independent thinker?
"Our nation will never see anything resembling bi-partisanship so long as people like you are incapable of even participating in a rational discourse with people who - heaven forbid - disagree with you." Again, you came to our blog and immediately said that anyone with a brain wouldn't be a liberal, and you expect rational discourse? You lowered the level of "debate" from the moment you commented. You started the name calling, so we obliged you with your weapon of choice.
So, just so long as there's no misunderstanding, again, I say... Go fuck yourself. You're not an independent, and you're not contributing to a "rational" debate, and now you have the fucking nerve to complain about the way we responded to your comments?
Frankly, I'm appalled at your ignorance.